3 Fatal Flaws Of Online Dating, And A Psychologist’s Recommendation On How To Overcome Them

Many people come to therapy torn between the desire to be single and the desire to find a steady romantic partner. They may ask questions like:

  • “I’ve matched with four new people this week. Why do I not want to meet any of them?”
  • “I am tired of not being a priority to the people I go out on dates with. Should I just take a break from online and offline dating for a while?”
  • “I’m not much of a texter. But I do want to get to know someone I meet online before I meet them in real life. How do I know if my match is safe?”
  • “I go on so many dates but they always turn out to be dead ends with no spark. Why is this happening?”
  • “I can’t decide whether I want to just hook up with my Hinge date or get to know them better. What should I do?”

These questions are very common among users of dating apps such as Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Bumble.

According to research conducted by Pew Research Center, a third of all adult Americans have used online dating apps. If you are between 18 and 29 years old, half of your peers use dating apps or sites.


With so many potential matches playing the swiping game, why do users of dating apps report feeling jaded?

While these apps help us find attractive people with whom we have common interests, a successful romantic relationship is built on so much more. Whether or not the gamification of courtship is beneficial to mental health is an under-researched topic.

Here are a few things to consider as you navigate the world of

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